End of the week is usually a time when I clean up the desk and get memos out. I usually don't write long memos. I say what I need to say and get it out. For example, here are today's memos that I need to get out.
TO BOOMER ESIASAN: Boom—hey stick to Sunday afternoon football. I understand you don’t like the idea that some MLB players take time to be with their wives while they give birth. Get over it. It’s a new century. And a long season. A couple of missed games does not a season make. Women are people to you know.
TO DAVID ORTIZ: Hi Dave. Have a healthy season. Oh BTW—take the money you got for the phone endorsement and send it to a Boston Homeless Shelter. You might save face and not continue to tick off the White House.
TO THE SKUNK IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: Dear Skunk. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you went through the neighborhood this morning. May I suggest taking a couple of turns and heading to Springfield? They won’t know the difference. They will think it is Bondi’s Island.
TO THE MASS MUTUAL CENTER: Congratulations on all the great events that you have in your building these days. Keep up the great work. However, before booking further events, please insure the safety of the business people that utilize your parking garage. To this end, please as soon as possible mandate that all event parkers pass a test proving their ability to be able to park in your facility. Since, it is apparent that there is some confusion over parking regulations, this will be necessary to insure that when I am coming down the down ramp, some woman with a foreign license plate won't be trying to go up the same ramp and thinking I am going to move.
TO FIRST TIME INTERVIEWEES ON WHYN MORNING SHOW: Welcome to the show. You will do fine. Remember that we are all human and just have a thought in your head and convey it to the public. I get that you aren't a pro at this---the pros are barely the pros. But we will get you through if you meet us halfway.
TO FIRST TIME POLITICIANS: Answer the question asked. Understand that if you don't its just going to be ugly because I am not dropping my question to listen to your answer. It doesn't work that way.
TO THE STATE LEGISLATURE: Ahhhh never mind, It just doesn't make any difference.
Lots of paperwork today. Thank you for that. I didn’t want to do anything else today. And, on must return some phone calls today. Must.